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The SANS - Stories

Submitting stories

To submit a story, send an email with all the pertinent data. Be sure and let us know if it is cool to use your name. A good start is "No shit, there I was .....".
 


K. Warren - Canada

September 2014 It was my 100th jump, Kathy (pretty sure that was her name) gave me my briefing at Vegas extreme. She was totally game when I mentioned a naked jump. I did my 99th in her rig. Then I stripped down, rigged up, pulled a pair of boxers over my harness, and ran onto the next load where my work friend was doing her first tandem. At altitude the pilot called 21 mph winds. I was told not to jump. So naturally I went anyway haha. Who was going to stop the last guy from leaving?! I remember Kevin Potts saying, ?You?re going to jump anyway, uh?? ? Me, "Yup!" -- Him, "I'd do the same." LOL
 

H. Smith - UK

Doing this sponsored skydive with the extra challenge of doing it NAKED started as a joke. But it was for such a good cause, and I realised that the extra challenge would more than likely increase the amount raised substantially, so I decided to go for it!

My first skydive was a charity tandem at Swansea (UK) on 16 August 2014, when I raised 2,080 GBP (~3,200 USD). Afterwards I found that if I jumped again within 12 months it would be cheaper, so I decided to do another tandem in July 2015. But would it now be ?just another skydive? and so not raise as much this time? Conversations led to 2 suggestions for an additional challenge:

1) No parachute. Despite very generous offers of sponsorship, I declined that one!
2) Naked. Having declined (1), then (2) it was.

I put out some enquiries as to where I might be able to take up this challenge, and Redlands Airport, Swindon (UK) happily agreed.

So, on 11 July 2015 at Swindon I did a naked tandem skydive. The extra challenge of doing it naked had the intended result. There was a fair amount of publicity in the press, printed, and on line (never expected to get so many pages of results when searching ?Howard Smith Naked Skydive?), and even a radio competition to come up with a novel headline for the story! By the day of the skydive I had raised over 5,500 GBP (~8,500 USD). This will go to help with the running costs of a motorbike ambulance service in the Mbale region of Uganda, which is being set up via a charity (PONT) that I volunteer with. Before this there was no ambulance service at all. I just couldn?t leave people to get miles to hospital in an emergency on a bicycle, or be carried by friends (see www.pont-mbale.org.uk).

On the day of the dive the weather was quite warm, though a bit windy, but still OK. I arrived at the airport as was greeted at each stage by the staff with ?ah ? you?re the one doing it naked?. I was on the last drop of the day, so anyone not wanting to witness my skydive could leave if they wanted to. I stripped off to just my shorts and trainers, and they initially fitted the harness over my shorts. I then went to the toilets took of my shorts, refitted the harness, and put my shorts back on over the top (there were still quite a few people around). I went in the plane with one other tandem ? an experienced guy, taking his girlfriend for her first tandem. There was discussion about whether the talk in the pub would now be about her first dive ? or that someone on the same dive had done theirs naked! At 9,000ft my shorts were removed, and the harness was properly set ready for the jump from 10,000ft. The door was opened, and I felt a strong draught of cold air in a very unusual place. The other tandem pair went out first, with their videographer, then my videographer went out to wait for us. We shuffled forward and I dangled my legs, and other bits over the edge. Definitely chilly, but not as bad as I had feared. Then it was head and legs back, and my tandem pushed me out. Amazing and weird feeling. After a while of freefall, we were under canopy and falling gently, looking at the scenery. The view down was distinctly odd ? legs and other bits dangling in the foreground with Swindon town and surrounding countryside in the background. There was a moderate wind and we landed off target, though not too bad ? the far end of the field instead of the near end. I decided to walk back to the buildings as I was, carrying my shorts and helmet in my hand. I arrived back to loud cheers and clapping. An exhilarating experience. Maybe I'll do it again someday.

Pictures at › Flickr
 

C. Reichel - Wisconsin

Twas not the greatest conditions for a SANS jump - 47 degrees out with a low ceiling around 6,000 feet and a slight drizzle. But it was the final day this season that was available to me. Having discussed the idea with a licensed SANS member, we decided that it would be a great idea to inaugurate me into the world of SANS jumping. We convinced another couple guys to fill the load, both of whom had already made a prior SANS jump. At 5,500 feet we each left the C-182 one after another for a quick Hop'n'Pop, only naked. Everyone landed in (which cannot be said of another SANS jump that I know of), and was able to get their clothing back on without incident. It is highly recommended to not jump SANS during anything more than a light drizzle as it does sting enormously.
 

T. Lumsden - Wisconsin

So it was a nice summer day. It was Mike's 200th skydive and he had been wanting to make a naked jump since the day he got his A license. So, the day goes on and the tandem students slowly leave. It wasn't long before we were losing clothes and planning the jump. The winds were picking up, so we decided to adjust the spot to .6 knts past.

The goal of the jump: 5-way Speed star to a round of laughter. That's how I imagined it, anyways.

We find ourselves on jump run and tie off our boxers around our ankles. I was responsible for the spot. I glance up and see the GPS showing .6. I must have imagined it, but I was certain I saw Jim cut the engine. Now, I blame all of the testostorone and adrenaline in that little c-182, but we were actually .6 prior. I hit the door, took a glance down and realized we were prior. I got in the good ol' fuck-it mood and figured our set-up would take while anyways, so we'd at least be on top.

Now I was going to hang on the strut and film the 4 naked banditos speed star, and I would be the last to go. As soon as I hang on the strut, they're bailing out one by one. Danno, the last speed star gave me a nice five-star belly slap as he exited. I noticed they're falling fast, I also see how prior we really are.

I look down at the group again and I thought I saw a pilot chute pitch, so I assumed they noticed the short spot too. It was actually just "Swamp Thing"'s boxers that became loose and flew away. I realized at this point, i'm not going to make it down to them, so I turn towards the LZ and give a little track. I pitched at about 5k and headed straight for the LZ.

They sank down and pulled at the planned 3500. Under canopy, I kept looking back and I could just see there was no way they were going to make it home. At this point I'm not completely sure if i'll even make it back. Eventually I find myself landing in the LZ and I look back and I see NOT A SINGLE CANOPY.

Results:

Mike and Swamp thing landed in a field.
Danno landed in someone's backyard. He got a little muddy, too.
Kevin landed in the parking lot of a local pub.

Everyone made it back safely. I think it was the best mistake i've ever made. There was so much laughter and beer consumption that evening, and of course it led into more naked adventures and stories. Ahhhh good times.
 

C. Gartner - Washington

I made my very FIRST EVER NAKED jump on August 18th, 2013. It was my 189th jump to date at the Skydive! Toledo drop zone at the Winlock Airport near Toledo, Washington. There was another jumper there, Eric the Red (he has red hair, red car among other things red) whose birthday was that day. He's been jumping nude on his birthday for the last 10 years. The manifestress wanted to know if I'd jump in my birthday suit for that load. And I had to think about it because I had never thought about doing a naked jump. After some thought, I said OK put my name down. She looked surprised. I joined Eric the Red and Russ, who's a tandem instructor, for his first naked jump also. The only really cool time was standing on the wheel cover doing the count because we had also planned to fly a 3 way pin. It was a fairly warm day with temperatures in the 80's so the flight under canopy was very pleasant.
I thought doing a naked jump would "get it out of my" system. But I enjoyed it so much that I'll probably sign up for the next one for whatever reason. Maybe my 200th jump?
The pilot ever so modestly declined to get naked also. Isn't everyone on a naked load supposed to get naked, including the flight crew?
It was ever so much fun.
 

T. Walker - Canada

I have 19 logged nekkid skydives, the first being July 10th, 2002 at the now closed Skydive Ranch in Beiseker AB. Canada. The last was a four way at 8AM, October 4th, also in snowy Canada. I would be more than happy to sport your helmet stickers, not always easy to make these jumps happen.
 

N. Shmel - Delaware

No Shit there I was jumping over the bonfire one Saturday night with The Zoo Crew slugging back shots of Goose and shooting mortars at the fuel truck 75 yards away. It was about 3 a.m and I believe we were the only ones still awake at that point, We are all strong believers in the "You can Sleep when your Dead" theory! Somehow we got on the topic of dropping our drawers and making runs at the (now purposely raging) bonfire, Before we could really fathom the Idea our buddy Tater bolted off into the night with beer in hand, Seconds later he reappears buck naked going full speed at the blaze!!! Everyone is roaring his name "TATER...TATER...TATER....TATER" as he leaps like a gazelle over the lashing flames and lands perfectly on the other side! IT WAS AMAZING!! From that point it was a race for everyone else to join the club. Needless to say we all did the naked blaze jump that night! Surely something I will never forget!

Fast forward a couple weeks and we are back at the bonfire but this time we are looking for a new challenge. Skydive Delmarva had night jumps coming up in a few weeks and we all signed up. Tater mentioned that we would not have the balls to take our jump to a new dimension.. A naked night 4 way!! Right away, Myself, The Hoff, my buddy Wayne and Matt all rose our glasses and toasted to not backing out!! The Plan was set. Almost like it had already happened. It could not be undone, For once you toast with your buds that your are committing to an epic jump such as this one. If you back out, Your just a little bitch at that point!

So the day was here and we were all at the DZ making our normal skydives and having a blast like we always do, As the sun was setting the reality set in and we all started gathering our stuff for the jump. Chem lights, Strobes, Rubber bands, ect... At about 9 p.m the briefing started and we had our DZ talk of don't hit anyone under canopy, and don't try anything stupid speech. Shortly after that we all heard the 20 min call!. It was time. We all met at the mock up and dirt dived a 4 way belly exit skydive to Freeflying till break off, The plan was to launch a 4 way round and spin the SHIT out of it until 8 Grand! Then we were to key it and Drop into a sit round and hold that until 6. We had our normal break off and tracking plan in place with everyone staggering there pull altitude by 500 ft. Great!! We have our plan.

At about the 10 min call we all scurried off to remote parts of the DZ and dropped our drawers and put our rigs on!. We all threw our undies over our leg straps and retuned to the loft to get our lights and strobes attached!. As the props started spinning it was the moment of truth! The mood was Electric!! We were jumping with joy as we loaded the plane last!!! First out BABY!! Everyone was to see our white asses!! hahaha... Sitting in the plane climbing to altitude at night is a really cool visual. Everything looks to different at night! For a brief 15 mins I almost forgot that we were about to huck ourselves out into the night buck ass naked. At the 3 min buzzer reality strikes and its go time. We all stood up and dropped our drawers like it was a bad habit. We all chucked our undies at everyone else and called them names for not going naked!!.... HAHA... what a freeing experience. The door opened and the Jumpmaster began to spot, GREEN LIGHT, we all began our climb out. Everyones ready, I give the count! 3....2....1...FIESTA!!!!!!!!!! as we launch a perfect 4 way belly exit!! We spun our round till 8 as planned and then dropped into a Sit... OUCH! there was some serious flappage going on as we all went to our backs from the abuse on our packages.. 6 grand and we turned and tracked!! OMG. I thought sit flying was bad... I was getting harmonic resonation coming from my junk until my pull time at 3500 ft. The worst and best 5 seconds of my life!!.. I pitched and had a nice butter-creamer of an opening. Found the DZ and headed that way. On final everyone had there cars lined up and lights pointed at the peas. I lined up and stuck the peas as the crowd roared!!. I gathered my chute draped it around me and walked in with pride.

My first naked jump was a great success and I highly recommend that everyone tries it! What an freeing experience. I am proud to become an elite member of the SANS organization. Congratulations to all to all of my fellow SANS members for truly living your lives to the fullest! I am looking forward to swapping jump stories one day with my buds This will truly be one of my fondest memories.
 

The Hoff - Delaware

So no shit, there I was... It was about 10 o'clock, on a cool July 24th 2010 evening. We were all sitting around getting briefed before our first, and only, night jump of the Skydive Delmarva season. This was my forth night jump but was gonna be extra special. Not only was I going to be in freefall naked for the first time, I was gonna be impressing my new girlfriend, Katherine! Few days earlier I had decided a weekend at the dropzone would make for a wonderful fifth date. Katherine had just completed her first ever skydive (AFF 1) a couple hours earlier, and was feeling great. So, I figured, this was as good a time as any to fulfill a dream I had had for a couple years... to skydive naked.

Now I had wanted to do this ever since I got my B License. My 50th jump had been sunset the day of Delmarva?s only night jump a couple years earlier. I was kidding around with my new jumping buddies (The Zoo Crew) before that jump saying it would be awesome to do my 51st jump as my first B license jump, at night, NAKED. We had all just started jumping that year and I was the only one with enough jumps to go. Unfortunately, it was a bit chilly for August and I was having a bit of a time getting around the idea of just what would happen if something went wrong on my first night jump. Long story short, I ended up deciding to stay clothed. Well, the jump went great, even hit the peas, but I was disappointed. I should have went S.A.N.S. clothes!

Fast forward a couple years and here we are again same friends, same DZ, same idea. Well, I throw out the idea to my friends and they all say they?re in. Even other jumpers are saying if everyone is doing it they?re going to too. Well, as with most things in jumping most of the people were all talk. As the loads 20 came around suddenly it was only Wayne and I that were still onboard. It was time to ask for the OK from the Dave, the DZM. I explained we wanted to do a naked two-way (not too gay... not that there?s anything wrong with that). Told how we planned to go up in our shorts, elastic them to our foot at the two minute buzzer, and do our naked two-way. He gave us his typical stern, unimpressed look and replied: ?You?re not jumping out of my plane naked, with clothes hanging off your feet... you?re passing them up to the pilot.? Game on!

He then instructed us to give some clothes to someone on the ground. Knowing that my new girlfriend was there for the weekend (and since she was standing there for all of this) he said to go get ready and give her some clothes for each of us. We would be the first out on the first load. It was getting real. Now, I don?t know how many of you have ever walked around naked in your rig, but let me tell ya, it is soooo comfortable. No horrible rubbing, pinching, or chaffing.

Well, after a ridiculously comfortable walk to board the plane, we were off. The mood was electric. Wayne and I always seemed to wind up on cool jumps together... mr. bills, helos, balloons, but this one seemed to have the most riding on it. The distinct possibility was on both our minds of how this thing could go horribly wrong... funneling! We both were almost exclusively freeflying now and Murphys Law said if ever there was a time we?d get tangled up on an easy two-way belly exit, this would be it! Of course, we ran over our exit about 20 times on our way to altitude.

Next thing you know the two minute buzzer goes off and its time to disrobe. Now this was a blacked out night load, still, people were warning the other jumpers to close their eyes as they tried snapping stills of us spotting in the door (it sure is tough being sexy). Now its time to climb out. I was in the back of the otter?s door and wayne was in front. We were holding hands, both of us outside with one hand on the bar. Wayne gave the count, out in out, and suddenly we were falling through the night sky. Luckily, we nailed our exit (hard to believe, I know). Needless to say, we were stoked! The dive went off without a hitch. Just a simple, one point, two-way. after taking it all in for a few thousand feet we spun it one way. Then, few thousand feet later we spun it the other. Neither of us noticed the temperature at all in the door or on the way down. And, everything stayed where you?d want it during freefall and at deployment. I was worried about both but neither proved any bother.

At 6k the jump was over and we tracked away. I pulled a little lower than Wayne, as planned. I then spotted Wayne? s strobe and setup my pattern. Now we had debated back and forth in the plane if we should aim for the peas (and all the spectators and light), or shy off to the edges where we?d have a more personal landing. We both agreed we needed to go big and aim for the peas! Luckily, I fly a better pattern at night than I do during the day (actually, I just don?t mind coming in high and banging out a lazy ?S? turn or two). My pattern was perfect, and a quick 90* riser turn later I was skimming the peas. Well, I?ve never heard such a roar at landing. Knowing it was dark and I was 100? from anyone, I faced the crowd and threw my arms up over my head in victory. Few seconds later, here comes Wayne, poised for a beautiful peas landing. He sticks it and we begin walking to each other, both draped in ZP.

In the short walk to get to each other we both realized that this was rather difficult to do while not showing anything, dragging our gear, or chaffing. We yelled for my girlfriend to bring our clothes over and as she refused the DZM also yelled back that would be too dangerous and that we had to walk to the crowd to get our stuff. Wayne jokingly said we should just cover our junk with our helmets and walk over. Enough said, we were on our way. It was awesome. Everyone was going crazy as we walked over. We were lovingly greeted with beer and clothing. It was wonderful! We both walked around the back of the row of cars, took off our gear, and threw on our shorts.

Unfortunately, I didn?t quite have the camera awareness Wayne had upon landing. I made sure to allow for a far off, dark, grainy pic. Also got one with the two of us sitting on the back of the golf cart waiting to head back in to the packing loft. Wayne on the other hand got the best nighttime naked skydiving photo ever. My girlfriend snapped him in the crowd, helmet in front, waiting to get his clothes. It was true facebook gold. If only she had worried more with getting a naked pic of me. Oh well, there?s always next time.

As always, a long night of partying and debauchery ensued. Fast forward seven months, and my girlfriend (now through AFF and working on getting her A) and I are itching for our first jumps of the new year. I don?t know how many jumps I?ll make naked this year, but I know I?ll always at least have my one. Congrats to all my brothers and sisters in S.A.N.S. And for those of you who?ve never done it, I highly recommend giving it a try. Just make sure and get yourself that legit pic!

Sincerely, Z.C.O.G. ?The Hoff?
 

L. Tibbling - Florida

Made a nekked jump in the early 80's at South Florida Parachute. Loaded up in the plane with clothes on and taxied down to the end of the runway, where we all wrestled our way out of our suits. Left the suits in a pile in the bushes. Naturally, they were gone when we landed. Had to promise the DZ a case of beer to get our clothes back.
 

J. Oates - Oklahoma

I have one naked skydive so far, it was a naked 4 way conducted at Del Rio, TX airport on 10 Aug 1987.
 

C. Bonner - Oklahoma

My first naked jump would have been about 1982 into a nudist camp near Decatur Texas. I've made 2 totally nude jumps since, one while serving as tandem master. I stopped jumping about 15 years ago but recently ordered a new rig and am now current with about 20 jumps. I'm now age 54 but plan to make more naked jumps. I also served as pilot on several naked jumps.
 

S. Brantley - North Carolina

It was my first naked jump from an aircraft, Temp on ground - upper forties. About 1pm 1/16/11. Partly cloudy. 5mph winds variable with gusts shifting from east to south east.The jump did give COOL JUMP a new meaning to me. My rig, with a Raven Three is out of date, so I borrowed a friend's nine cell, 150, the smallest I've ever jumped (so far), which added a little more excitement. I made a running backflip tailgate exit at 10 grand, belly down freefall, deployed at 4, needed time to see how canopy flew and stalled, made an intentional ( by request) off field landing, a friend his wife and two daughters were waiting with clothes and coffee. A wingsuit jumper exited after me. AHHH !!!! I'm sure you know what I mean. Looking forward to many more, I would make them all this if I could.
 

K. Issel - California

First naked jump: July 28th (my birthday) 2003 at Bay Area Skydiving in Byron, CA.
50+ naked skydives including one night jump.
I've also been on a Caravan an Otter and a Skyvan that we're fully loaded with naked divers. FUN!
 

J. Britt - New Mexico

My first and only naked jump was on October 17th, 2010, down here at Skydive New Mexico. We're already at 5,000 ft MSL here, so I jumped from 17,000 MSL holding my boxer shorts in late OCTOBER! Needless to say it was a very cold one! I'm sure there will be many more "free" jumps :)
 

L. Chappell - Australia

It was August 2008 at The Ranch, NY. It was my 200th and her 666th. Wagon Wheel out of an otter into unsuccessful sitfly. More practice without a jumpsuit required.
 

S. Braun - Kansas

I am proud to say that it is tradition at Kansas State University Parachute Club to jump naked on #100. Unfortunately for me, my work took me to a dropzone in Tennessee that would not allow me to do so, instead I made a compromise to go in my briefs. But I went back to Kansas on #116 to finish the job.
 

J Roane - Nebraska

My buddy Mark Ferrell and I were jumping at our local DZ, Lincoln Sport Pareachute Club, in Weeping Water, Ne and decided to make a jump at the end of the day onto the beach at my lake house. Our wives were already there waiting on us so we thought it would be fun to see their faces when we landed SANS clothing. So we straped on our gear, put shorts on over and just the 2 of us climbed in the C-182 and away we went. Later, Mike, our pilot got a surprise, as he didn't know what we were up to, and looked over to see two bare butts climbing out of the plane. I landed on our beach but Mark landed close to my neighbors house, where we later found out that the CEO of the hospital I worked for was sitting there having drinks. Hows that for entertainment Mr. CEO?
 

J Bishop - South Carolina

"Rawhide Ranch" nudist colony, south of Sacramento, CA. Event was Nudist Convention - Miss Nude World '74 was present. Three of us jumped in naked with cameras mounted on helmets. Jump # 279 from 3500'.
 

J. Ross - Missouri

i made my first nekked jump in Schweighofen, Germany, in May of 1988. Cold as hell from a Cessna 206 Soloy Turbine. The prop blast was worse than the actual jump.
 

N. Cronin - Switzerland

1st jump : me naked + 6 "textile" jumpers. Track jump. I was wearing Parachute, Helmet, Goggles, Altimeter, Teva's. Gruyeres, Switzerland
2nd Jump : 3 naked + 3 textile + videoman. Belly 6 way star. My most naked : Parachute, Visor Gath, Altimeter. Yverdon, Switzerland
3rd jump : 2 naked + 7 textile. Sitfly. My coldest jump (+5C/+41F on ground). Parachute, full face helmet, Altimeter, gloves, sneakers+socks. Empuriabrava, Spain